Tuesday Trolling

Tuesday again my friends. Time once again to prove that you are indeed "normal."  Who cares about the neighbor who is screwing the mailman. With crazy asses like these, having the mailman's kid seems okay.

You know that great Christmas song, "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" don't you? If you don't then I will have the Quirkster sing it to you. Let's start the holiday season with a rousing rendition of "Grandma Got Busted Drunk Driving For The Holidays." Grandma must have been in the cooking sherry and decided to take a little ride, with her 5 year old grand daughter in the car. She did not get run over but she did blow a WHOPPING .415 on the breathalizer test. She had to have had at least twelve drinks to get that high. It is a wonder she did not singe someone's eyebrows off with that much booze in her. Dumb bitch!

This warped asshole does not even have the excuse of being drunk when he decided he missed his wife............. after she died. At first he slept ON her grave, but got tired of getting rained on so he dug a tunnel to the grave so he would stay dry. Eventually (two years later) he just dug her up and brought her back home. There he kept her, molded in clay, clothes on, for 5 years.  The man, Le Van from the Philippines told a website that "I'm a person that does things differently. I am not like normal people." What the hell gave him THAT clue?

Do you believe in re-incarnation? Were you a Pharaoh in your past life? Do you wish you were? Now you can be immortalized just like the  Egyptians and have your face put on an urn that your family can look at for years. I guess that would be one way he would never bring home a new wife eh?

Here is a man who just can't quite get things to go his way. A 52 year old paid cash for a casket, wrote out his obituary and shot himself in the head. Unfortunately (fortunately?) the bullet missed and the damn funeral home refuses to give him a refund. Life really is a bitch.

Finally comes a story that I feel close to in a weird way. There is a man named Mathew Roberts who, like millions of people found out he was adopted. When he was old enough he wanted to find his birth parents. He finally located his birth mother and wrote back and forth to her for a while, the whole time asking her who his father was. It took some time but finally she told him the story of his birth. She met a man her father said was "a white-trash biker bandit" but Terry, (Mathews mother) found him charismatic and hypnotizing. So she left on a bus with his "family" and went to San Francisco. In a drug fueled orgy she says she was raped by this man and when the baby was born she gave him up for adoption. Thus began Mathew's nightmare. He has since corresponded with his father if you can call it that and says he is ashamed to now know who (supposedly) that man is.

Mathew Roberts

Is this Mathew's father?

You may know him better as Charlie.

Now for some lighter fare, just to even things up a bit. How about some more shoes. Nooter, you may want to skip this pair.

Can you believe these?!?!?!?!? Puppy shoes!

I thought this was the weirdest gadget I have ever seen. This holds your tech toys, like Ipod's and cellphones. Very strange indeed.

Here are some shoes that I do not know who would wear. Perhaps a closet stripper?

No way in hell would I dare to put my feet in these nasty slippers. Who would wear these?

That is all for today friends. You have to admit, these Tuesday's at my place make your problems seem so trivial. You are welcome.