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This week I have so many unusual finds I am not sure where to start. One thing is for sure, there are some very weird people out there. I have many friends, but have never had any who would do what these weird asses have done.
I guess I will start with this man who is so hard up for sex he called the cops asking for it. Yes, he called 911 looking for sex. Why you may wonder? Because he was out of minutes on his cell phone and 911 was the only number he could call.
How about the traveler who was caught smuggling several small sweet potatoes into the Miami International Airport from Bolivia. The traveler wrapped them in commercial wrappers of a popular Bolivian candy. The sweet taters were destroyed and the person was fined $300 for not declaring the prohibited veggies.
Something I learned while trolling I had never thought about. Vegans do NOT want to have sex with steak gobblers. I guess not all Vegans but a large part of them don’t. A vegan is one who does not eat any animal products including cheese, eggs and do not use any animal by-products, like whips and handcuffs made from cow hide. So to that end there is a condom that is sure to make any sexually active Vegan happy; Vegan Condoms. Isn’t that nice. Now they too can have guilt free sex. As far as the whips and handcuffs, those also come animal by-product free for a guilt free S&M session.
Green seems to be the buzzword these days, what with Al Gore on his soap box about global warming, and people looking for alternative ways to do some things without leaving a carbon footprint. Now you can have your pleasure without the harming the earth with the hand crankable vibrator. That is right ladies (and men I guess) four minutes of cranking (I am waiting for the jokes, come on) gives you about 30 minutes of vibrating. I would think that would be a fair trade, what do you think?
This next subject is one I have never worried about, but I am sure some men do. If you are left handed and you have to pee, is it really that hard to get the horse out of the barn if the opening is on the right? Obviously this is a major problem for weak left handed men. “Left-handed men have to reach much further into their pants, performing a Z-shaped maneuver through two 180-degree angles before achieving the result that right-handed men perform with ease." [Reuters, 9-23-09] British retailer Debenhams announced in September it would begin selling men’s briefs for left-handers. I know you will sleep better knowing this.
Here are a few more goodies. This one is for the mother-to-be who is one with her computer.
After the birth, what better way to let your child exercise than in this little monster!
This is the end of this weeks' Tuesday Trolling. I hope you enjoyed the silliness.
9 comments:
That appliance is just like a woman. Four minutes of cranking is good enough for the guy, but she wants to go 30 minutes. Sheesh.
Maybe if the guy that called 911 had the hand-crank vibrator, his would've been strong enough to do the job himself instead of calling the cops for sex! LOL!
I wish I had the monster walker for my daughter when she was a baby. I think it's adorable!
Calling 911 for sex!?! Wow! I think that shows some men really do think with the wrong head!
What does 1 minute of cranking get you? Because that's pretty much my limit.
I'm awesome.
Vegan condoms? Oh my, my. I wonder if they feel like sheepskin?
That monster car would have given me nightmares.
Maybe left-handed men just use their right hand to take care of business, whether that business be relieving themselves or....er...cranking.
(OK. THAT was bad. I know.)
Bwahahahahahaha. You can find them. You really can. As for Al Gore, I know what to do with that cranking vibrator. Just saying.
Have a terrific day. Big hug. :)
Even more evidence that Earth has tipped on its axis.
I'm just trying to figure out the problem of getting the wee thing outta the pants for a lefty.......I always thought dicks came permanently attached TO the hand.
noname, my husband would sorely disagree. LOL
Collette, that was the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Yes I too love the baby car.
thinkinfyou, you said it girl. Something I think we all knew.
Moooooog, that is what is so nice about a vibrator. You don't even have to concern yourself with anything.
Reffie, no, that was funny as hell. I also do not know what the deal is with left handed penis pulling.
Sandee, I think Al Gore would like that way too much. After all, he is a politician.
Me-Me King, do you think these weird people will go first in 2012?
Dana, you crack me up honey. You, of course are exactly right, but obviously they put them up once in a while.
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