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My friend Max wrote a post about driving traffic to your blog. He had a good point. What does driving mean? Is it like driving me crazy? Is it the same as carrying someone, like the four hundred pound woman who wanted to be carried to the store? You know she wants you to "drive" her there, so then why doesn't she say so? How do you you "drive someone to your blog? Reminds me of shipping charges when it goes by truck and not a ship.
He also talked about SEO. Now I wonder why he wants to be the SEO of a company. I don't get that. Oh wait he is talking about that SEO. So what is it? Several of you know, because you put the word "pussy" or "long dick" in the title hoping you get new visitors am I right? Does it work, or do you get frustrated perverts looking for a pussy with a long dick? I personally would not be happy to click on what I hoped was porn and got "my pussy fell in the water and got all wet" kind of post. It is kind of truth in advertising you know? Then again who in advertising tells the truth.
You have to go and comment on other blogs. That is how you get traffic. No comments, no traffic. Of course you may have to post something interesting after you have done all the commenting, right? I am still working on that part of it.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Driving Miss Daisy to See the SEO
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12 comments:
You continue to act under the completely misguided assumption that your friend Max has ANYTHING of value to say on his blog. Many of your regular readers have in the past trusted you enough to click on your links to that cesspool of confusion he calls a blog, only to be quickly repulsed and angered that you sent them there in the first place. You would do well to recall these people you duped who no longer comment on your blog. Quickly remove the link in your post to Max's blog before it is too late.
I don't understand any of that stuff.I tried to when I first started blogging,but I always walked away more confused than when I started reading it. So now, I just throw in as much pussy and dick as I can,and not to get traffic,just because I like saying those words!
I agree with Max. ;) And TFY..oh, wait, no I don't agree with her. I usually don't use those words on my blog, but maybe....hmmm, now I'm thinking maybe I should. I'm working on commenting too.
I've resigned myself to just blogging because I enjoy it.
Although I can't deny it's nice to get comments and followers.
It makes you feel good.
And I'm all for feeling good!
But bottom line, I'm trying not to worry about the SEO stuff. Just drives me batty!
SEO: I worry about it, I don't worry about it, I worry about it some more. Writers want to be read, don't you think? Even bad writers.
By the way, my pussy has a long dick, and I'm rather offended that you think only perverts are looking for that particular combo meal. Long-dick pussies are unusual, and beautiful, and I'd say that only 99 percent of the people searching for one are perverts. The rest are real gentlewomen.
I'm commenting to drive traffic to my blog.
Just kidding.
What are the top 10 search terms that brought traffic to my Web site (which includes my blog)? According to Google Analytics, they were:
1. world's thickest penis (67)
2. thickest penis (40)
3. toronto strike (34)
4. worlds longest penis (28)
5. worlds thickest penis (21)
6. sex and breasts xxx talking sites (15)
7. thickest penis in the world (13)
8. world's longest penis (10)
9. absurd sayings (7)
10. life's ironies (7)
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I kid you not. That's the list as of right now. The numbers in parentheses are the number of visits in the last 30 days.
The Toronto strike is recent. Otherwise there'd be one more search term like the majority in the list.
I refuse to say whether it is one of life's ironies that those terms are what people used to find me. Is that absurd?
By the way, try Googling "world's thickest penis" (with the quotes) and see what comes first on the list. No comment.
Relax Max, I did assume something since most of my "friends" don't stop by much. I think they went to your place. Value? lets' talk about value should we? You will not find it here.
TFY, I am with you, although if I cuss too much some people let me know!
U.R. Please do not ever agree with Max. He lies a lot you know. I met him on the docks.
Quirky, it is a sense of belonging isn't it? Comments are very nice. It means you got someone's attention.
MikeWJ, I for one do not believe anything you say. If you have pictures of a pussy with a long dick, then please share and prove yourself. This discerning gentlewoman is curious.
Something interesting?
/smacks head on desk
That's what I was missing!
Ha! I know summer is the worst time for numbers; people (gasp) are actually away from the laptops more... I'll bet in the Fall, all the visitor numbers will go up. I've never looked into SEO too much because I don't have ads, so I wasn't too concerned. Instead I try to visit a few new blogs each day, and comment 99% of the time.
Looky here! It's a comment!
Now I prepare for the influx of traffic this comment will no doubt fuel!
If you wrote crap, I'd still come here Ettarose. Since you don't write crap and you do make me laugh, I come here willingly - whether you comment on my blog or not.
So there.
Stephanie, that is all it takes, a couple mentions of body parts, lots of comments and plain good writing. Oh and watch Max, he has been known to bite.
Maureen, summer does take away lots of visitors doesn't it? Winter spoils us, I am glad I do not depend on the internet for a living.
Nanodance, I am waving my comment wand. Here is to lots of comments.
Deb, you are my girl. I always appreciate your visits. I hope I keep you entertained.
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