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Summer is for the bugs! I know you usually hear something is for the bird’s right. Summer is for the birds if they would eat all the bugs in the 11-acre insect breeditorium I have. The first thing to pop up are the Mayflies. They do not hurt you; they just attack when you step into the grass. I think they are left from the prehistoric years. If you could put a saddle on those big bastards, you could ride them around the yard. They do not hurt you they just annoy the living piss out of you.
My Creek
Yes, It is my creek!
Mayfly
After the Mayflies come the deer flies. Now deer flies are some of the nastiest little bastards ever and when they bite, they draw blood. I got so sick of them one year I went and got some fly paper, took apart the roll of sticky ass paper and stapled it to an old baseball cap and wore it outside. It tickled the shit out of me to count all those fuckers stuck to that flypaper. I admit I would not have won any awards for fashion but by God, those deer flies did not bite me. We cannot roll the windows down in the car when driving down the long driveway because the deer flies attack the car. It is a bitch to see the swarm of deer flies trying to get in any window they can. They have followed us to the end of the road about 9/10th of a mile!
Deer Fly
Let us not forget the ticks! Oh those sneaky little bastards can hide in the nastiest places, like the "hanging boys" if ya know what I mean. You look all over for them when you get home and only when the itching gets intense enough to tear the skin off do you find them. Deer ticks are so tiny and they can hide anywhere. My poor Hubs is allergic to almost every insect bite and these tiny ticks imbed between his toes! Not a pretty picture I assure you.
Deer Tick
Then there are mosquitoes! I think everyone of you have been bothered by them but they actually form clouds on the lower forty and as much ‘Off ‘as you spray they still dive bomb like Kamikaze pilots on a mission.
Mosquito
Anyone from the south knows what red bugs are, but if you are like me and are from the West, you may have never heard of these minute creatures from hell. Also known as chiggers these microscopic insects latch on, insert their little feeder tubes and inject a substance that actually dissolves the tissue reminiscent of The Fly. When the skin and tissue dissolve, they suck up your precious life’s fluids. These by far are Satan’s little dogs of hell. With the other pests, at least you can see them to deal with, but these tiny little assholes are the worst!
Chigger/Redbug
Chigger bites
Picture it; walking along enjoying the sights, although smelling like a chemical factory, and all of a sudden you feel a tremendous pain and then another, and still another. You look around in shock and only then do you realize you have disturbed an underground nest of Yellow Jackets. No amount of spray will protect you from the intense sting of these buggers. Run as fast as you can and jump into the water because they are pissed and they will not let you get away from disturbing their happy home.
Yellow Jacket nest
Yellow Jacket
The one thing that we have on our acreage that does not bother me in the least are snakes. Snakes have their purpose, the afore mentioned denizens of hell do NOT. Snakes keep the rats and mice from invading my home so they are okay. Well, except for the Copperheads, and Water Moccasins AKA Cottonmouth. Those I kill, although I must confess I have yet to see a Cottonmouth. To hear the people out here tell it there are Cottonmouths swarming everywhere, because everyone swears they kill at least ten a week. I have a very large creek on my property with every kind of wildlife you can imagine and have yet to see a Cottonmouth. Most water snakes are really harmless but are killed out of ignorance. We have King snakes also and if I could keep my dog Lucky/Dummy from eating them I would be happy.
Copperhead
Blacksnake
King Snake
Cottonmouth
Besides all these wonderful creatures I share my home with are the Bob Cat’s and the black bears. The bears live across the creek and I have actually seen one of them and a friend who lives behind the creek has several pictures of the bears eating his corn. The Bob Cat we have seen on a tree that had fallen in the creek. Come to think of it, I am missing two of my cats. I wonder……..
Bobcat
Black Bear
This concludes my tour of my lovely home in the woods. Sounds terrible but I would not trade it for anything.
